


i'm a little bit lost without you

by eternalmagic



Series: this love, it is a distant star (guiding us home wherever we are) [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: (the summoner is me and im in the rowboat so of course im a shipper on deck), also theres not much of the other characters im sorry i feel like im lying by tagging them, shigure is on my main team with brave ike mist and tiki so thats why they're here, the summoner is a shipper on deck but idk if thats apparent, this maybe shouldnt go in the fates tag but oh well i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 02:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13180242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalmagic/pseuds/eternalmagic
Summary: He'd been convinced that he would never see anyone from his world ever again. That was something he had expected when he'd arrived in Askr while searching for his mother, so it's not like he is terribly surprised. He couldn't really afford to get close to people in the Order of Heroes either, lest he lose them too (or so he tells himself). So he keeps to himself, doing as he's told and not much else.Sometimes things work out for the best, though. Especially when the next crown princes of Nohr and Hoshido arrive at the Order of Heroes.[ shigure gets summoned to askr, and eventually reunites with shiro. ]





	i'm a little bit lost without you

**Author's Note:**

> so my plan for this was to publish it when the children of fate banner for fe heroes debuted, because i was dying over shiro and the others being confirmed. but! i didn't get this done by then, so now this is more of a celebration of me, by some miracle, summoning shiro, siegbert, and soleil in almost a single go. it was wild.
> 
> anyway, this is kind of a mix of ideas that i've got for what it's like being in the order of heroes, and thoughts on shigure after the heirs of fate dlc. i left parts of it vague, but hopefully enough of it comes across okay?
> 
> title from oh wonder's "without you".

He’s not sure why he was brought to Askr in the search for his mother. His journey had taken him to Cyrkensia, the place his mother had once sang before the war broke out between Hoshido and Nohr. He’d begun dancing as a way to pay for an extended stay in the city while he investigated, and during a performance he'd suddenly been pulled away by some otherworldly force. And now...

Well, Askr isn’t so bad, he supposes. The castle that serves as headquarters for the Order of Heroes is settled on a large cliff side overlooking a deep, deep lake. The view is like nothing in Hoshido or Nohr or even Valla, one that he paints rather frequently. Shigure has even found several secluded spots to sing as well, so it isn’t nearly as awful here as he had originally thought.

The other castle inhabitants are friendly enough, though he wishes some of them would mind their own business. Shigure does enjoy being on the Order’s vanguard team, and he’s glad that he’s needed there. He's not sure he understands why Summoner Kiran was so intent on having him round out the team--there were certainly better soldiers than he--but he quietly decided it best not to question someone so high up in the army. He likes the rest of the vanguard team well enough. Ike, while a bit hard to read and more stoic than Shigure would think someone his age could be, he's the most capable of the four to be the leader. His sister Mist and the young manakete Tiki are both talkative enough that their travels aren't entirely silent. The girls like pestering him with questions in their off time, too, particularly about his song.

“It’s one I learned from my mother.” is all he ever says when asked about it.

But the unending war with Embla--and now Múspell--leaves him with precious little time to research. Shigure finds himself in the castle library whenever he has a moment to rest between battles, poring over tome after tome in an attempt to find anything that can aid his search. Part of him worries that he will never leave Askr, not with this war and the awful Tempests causing chaos all over. He doesn't necessarily _mind_ the fighting, and he's happy to be of service, but he wishes he weren't needed so he could focus on his search. At this rate, he may never find her.

He had known going into this that he might not see anyone he knew again. So long as he can save his mother, he’ll be satisfied.

 

 

In hindsight, perhaps skipping out of the debriefing following their latest battle had been a poor decision.

Months have passed since his arrival in Askr, and he's gotten nowhere in his research. Shigure is beginning to think that this is a fruitless endeavor the more dead ends he turns up. He's loathe to ask for assistance for a topic so close to his heart, and he also wants to keep his distance from others. He doesn't want to repeat what happened with the alternate versions of his peers--his fellow children of war. They had sacrificed so much on his behalf by giving up their memories of that entire ordeal, and as grateful as he is that his life had been spared, part of him wishes that they had been selfish. Shigure doesn't want anyone else to sacrifice something for his sake.

He thinks on the next high prince of Hoshido sometimes, in the quietest hours of the night. How adamant he had been to save Shigure from the fate the singer had chosen. His chest clenches at the memory, and he feels so keenly homesick that he sobs into his pillow.

As of late, the more dead ends he finds, the more Shigure escapes from dealing with the other members of the vanguard to scour the library for more clues. He's been doing it much more recently, and while he's been asked about it by his peers (particularly the ever-curious Mist and Tiki), it seemed nothing more than a minor annoyance to his fellow soldiers.

But now, Shigure now finds himself cornered by Ike, who bars his access to the library.

Ike's hands are folded over the pommel of his axe, expression severe. "You missed our meeting with Commander Anna and Prince Alphonse."

Shigure swallows. "If I did, it was unintention--"

"I don't appreciate lies." Ike says, eyes blazing. Shigure has never seen him like this off the battlefield. "You've spent all the time you can in here. Were it still something you did outside of your obligations to the Order, I could care less about it. But since whatever it is you're looking for is taking you away from your responsibilities, I have to step in."

Shigure averts his gaze, feeling hot shame crawling up his neck.

Ike continues. "Mist, Tiki and I depend on you to be at your best. Your singing is enormously helpful in battle, and you're an excellent fighter in your own right. But we have no need for someone who won't bother to show us the same courtesy we show them." 

Shigure murmurs, in a very small voice, "I didn't mean to disrespect you or the girls. I just--"

"Just what?" Ike says. "What could possibly be so important that you neglect your duties?"

Shigure looks up to meet Ike's gaze, but finds his voice failing him. He opens his mouth once, twice, trying to say something, but no words come forth. A few moments pass, and Ike lets out a breath, his shoulders dropping.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it." Ike says, voice quieter. His expression softens now, and he looks like the seventeen year old he actually is. "But we need you to focus, Shigure. Mist and Tiki depend on you-- _I_  depend on you. Please don't let whatever it is ruin what advantage we have over Embla." He picks up his axe and brushes past, leaving Shigure alone at the entrance of the Askr library.

Finally, Shigure's voice comes to him. "It's my mother."

Ike's footsteps stop abruptly.

"I've been trying to find my mother." Shigure's voice is tight with emotion. He senses Ike's eyes on him now, but he does not turn to meet the other's gaze, only bows his head. "In my world, everyone says she's dead, but--but she's just trapped somewhere. Suffering."

There is an uneasy silence for a long moment. But then, he hears Ike coming closer.

"I--I thought I might find answers here." Shigure finds himself saying, unable to stop now that he's started. He can see Ike come to a stop in front of him. "And I keep searching, even though nothing in this library has given me any idea of how to save her. No matter how much I look, all I get are dead ends and--"

Ike guides Shigure's face up, expression concerned. Shigure keeps talking; he explains his search, the song that still ties him to Azura of Valla, and how he had almost sacrificed himself to protect as many worlds from Anankos as he could before it was too late. He talks about leaving his father and sister behind in the dead of night, of the silly prince that still holds his heart despite everything that separate's them. His eyes fill with tears and the dam breaks. He slumps forward onto Ike's shoulder, sobbing and trying to speak at the same time, words jumbling together in his rush to explain himself.

Ike loosely embraces the singer, not saying a word. He remains silent even after Shigure regains control of his emotions and pulls away, a little mortified. He remains by Shigure's side for the rest of the day, offering his quiet presence as an anchor. His expression is open, more so than usual. Shigure thinks that perhaps Ike can understand his pain.

 

 

After that, the rest of the vanguard team is made aware of Shigure's searching, and he finds himself accompanied by the others whenever he goes to the library.

Tiki, sweet thing that she is, can never seem to keep her eyes open for more than five minutes. Ike eventually admits that he'll help all he can, but that after a while the words start swimming on the page and by then he's no real help. Mist is the most determined to be of help, filtering through shelf after shelf to find the most relevant books for Shigure to read. He actually begins to spend more time with the other members of the vanguard team for the first time since arriving in Askr, and his heart feels just a little bit lighter.

He introduces the fourth and final verse of his mother's song into what he sings in battle. The others notice, and Shigure finds their attacks to be much more intense than before. Finally, their movements begin to flow almost like water in battles and there is no more need to call out orders across the battlefield. Whatever was keeping them from this before is now gone.

Months pass. The fighting seems to be almost never-ending, but the time spent in the castle isn't as lonely as it had been before. Mist and Tiki's almost constant presence at his side drive the quiet moments of homesickness away. Ike turns to him for assistance in battle plans ("I don't have my tactician Soren, but you seem to have a mind for it too."), and they continue to search for how to save Shigure's mother. The Order of Heroes begins to feel like home.

More heroes begin to appear in the castle's halls, first summoned by Kiran and eventually sent out into battle when needed. Shigure does his best to remember names and faces, but there's so many to keep track of.

He could never forget that face, though. Not when it haunts his dreams most nights.

It's really the Hoshidan prince's voice that draws his attention first. Shigure hears it carrying over the other conversations in the great hall of the castle. He stops in his steps abruptly, falling out of step with Mist.

"--gotta say, this is  _some_  castle you've got here." A laugh. "It's so huge!"

"I have to agree with Shiro--this is so much larger than Castle Krackenburg."

Another voice he recognizes. Shigure turns to find the speakers, eyes wide. In an instant, he spots the princes of Nohr and Hoshido trailing after Princess Sharena and Commander Anna. Soleil and Rhajat are following them, the Nohrian swordswoman smiling and chattering with every girl they pass.

It seems as though not a day has passed for any of them--it's as if they have stepped directly out of Shigure's memory of them. Shiro's smile seemingly lights up the room even more than it already is, a dazzling sight he hadn't realized he missed so much. Shigure is embarrassed to admit that he finds it even more radiant than he remembers.

The princes and their retainers talk amiably, heading towards the far end of the great hall. Shigure stands rooted to the spot, unable to tear his gaze from his friends. Somehow, his eyes meet Shiro's across the room. His heart flutters in his chest when the look of recognition crosses Shiro's face, lighting up even more than it had been.

" _Shigure!_ " Shiro shouts, and suddenly the Hoshidan prince is muscling his way through the crowd to reach him. "Shigure--holy shit, is that you?"

Shigure smiles nervously as the lancer approaches. The others on the vanguard team stop to see what's causing the commotion.

The moment Shiro reaches him, he pulls Shigure into a fierce bear hug the way he always has, even lifting the singer a little off the ground. Siegbert has followed the Hoshidan prince, and greets Shigure happily. Soliel throws herself into his arms. Rhajat remains a polite distance away, but it's clear she's happy to see him too.

"Gods, we never thought we'd see you again!" Shiro exclaims. "You just up and vanished on us."

"Your father was extremely worried about you." Siegbert's voice is soft.

Shigure can imagine how his father responded, and it forms a lump in his throat just thinking about the distress he caused. He averts his eyes, heat rising in his cheeks.

Mist breaks in, gentle as always. "From what we know, he didn't intend on being gone from your world forever."

"And he's missed you all very much!" Tiki adds. She only laughs when Shigure turns red and tries to shush her.

A brief round of introductions are made as Shigure's friends greet the singer's teammates. By this time Summoner Kiran has joined them.

"So this is where you all ran off to." The summoner settles her hands on her hips. "We thought you'd gotten lost--but it looks like you found Shigure!"

"Wait--why didn't you tell us he was here?" Shiro asks, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"I was getting to it." Kiran winks at Shigure, as if she's sharing a secret with him. He's not quite sure how to take it--Kiran is always a little bit odd. "I wanted to get some things out of the way so you could have all the time you want to catch up with him."

"Oh."

Kiran turns to Ike now. They talk briefly about the state of the army, letting Tiki and Mist break in to add their observations of the other members of the Order. When she's satisfied, Kiran nods and thanks them, turning back to the new arrivals to start their tour up again.

Just as they turn to leave, Kiran turns back. "Hey, Ike?"

The axe wielder hums in response.

"You mind if I borrow Shigure for a little while? I think we'd like his company for the rest of the tour."

"I don't see why not." Ike smiles gently at Shigure, tilting his head to Shiro and the others. "We'll see you later."

Shigure smiles gently and nods, quickly falling into step with Soliel.

He stays quiet for most of the tour, letting Kiran explain how the Order works and their typical schedule. Shiro and Siegbert seem particularly impressed that Shigure is on the vanguard, paving the way for the other squads the Order sends out to fight Embla. Shigure can only duck his head sheepishly. Eventually Shiro falls into step beside him, taking Shigure's hand lightly in his own.

They'd always danced around each other before--neither had really laid their feelings bare before Shigure had left on his journey to find Lady Azura of Valla despite so clearly being attracted to each other. It's something Shigure still regrets to this day, haunted by thoughts of what might have been. Maybe, if he had just waited, he and Shiro could have gone searching together.

Shigure looks up to meet Shiro's eyes. He can't find his words for a few long moments, mouth hanging open as he tries.

Shiro's eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles softly. He brings the back of Shigure's hand to his lips and whispers, "I'm really happy to see you."

The singer flushes, smile widening on his lips. "I missed you." He murmurs. "I missed you so, so much."

They've stopped, too caught up in each other to notice that they've been left behind by the rest of their group. Shigure drinks in the adoring expression on Shiro's face, still sort of wondering if this is some sort of dream.

 

 

No one questions why Shiro and Shigure are practically attached at the hip from that moment forward; no one gets in the way when one of them returns from battle hurt and the other hurries over to prop them up and help them to the infirmary. No one asks why Shigure's song sounds happier when he sings it for Shiro on the battlefield.

Shigure continues the search for his mother, but with so much help from those he's close to it's not as intense as it had been. And he doesn't protest when Shiro tugs him away from the Askr library, quietly inviting him to eat and sleep.

He feels less lonely, less like this is a burden only he can bare. Shiro wouldn't let him, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at x-eternalmagic or howdomaddie, or on twitter at @howdomaddie!


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